i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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