Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
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Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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