I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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