Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm having to shit out rocks
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
