I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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