So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
