just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
