There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
