bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
