Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize