My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
