So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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