How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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