Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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