he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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