that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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