What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
