Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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