Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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