hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
