i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Text me some of your sweat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
