I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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