Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
