Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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