she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
