im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
