How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize