Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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