Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
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It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
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