Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize