i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
