After last night, I could never be a politician.
My balls are so social today.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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