Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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