Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
