He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
