You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
