you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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