i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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