Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
