The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
