Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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