where does the pee come out of this thing
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
