Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
