glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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