i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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