You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
