Ambien. No doubt about it.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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