So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will