A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.