It's Friday. Sex?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
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