it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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