Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize