I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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