i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
