People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
