He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize