apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
